Almost viable!

Things are hectic... New bubba is hanging in there. I'm 23 weeks, 3 days today. I didn't have amino but have had extra scans which have all been normal so far! We have a little boy growing in there! Next scan is in 2 days to get a better look at the heart. If that's normal then likelihood is that bub is fine (but the docs are very careful to say they cannot guarantee this). My mum passed away on 23rd Nov... 5 weeks after my last post. that ended a very stressful period in our lives, juggling a new job, hubby's job, a toddler, setting up in a new house ( we are still on concrete floors and haven't finished painting) all while trying to be at the hospital as much as possible. Now things have settled down into our "new normal" and we are just missing mum. Every day. Bubba's routine went out the window so now we are battling sleep issues, and having the occasional sleepless night where she is just up for hours! Hope it doesn't last long!! Hubby has developed severe carpal tunnel syndrome so is having surgery this Thursday on one hand, then the next one in early feb... In the hope he will be all healed up before bubba #2 arrives. As for me... Pregnancy sucks! I re- developed nausea at about 20 weeks, felt like I was back in the first trimester. Now I have a bad cold with a terribly sore throat, coughing and blowing and snorting green stuff (its just disgusting), a constant headache and now conjunctivitis as well. I look very attractive (not). The pharmacist wouldn't give me anything other than paracetamol, but now I have antibiotics from the dr so am hoping that sorts me out quick. So that's where we're at...

A bad week

Things are a bit tough around here.. I'm in the middle of another 2ww. Last week I got the results of 12 week screening (which we did at 13 weeks) and this bub is at high risk for trisomy 13 and 18. I'm not doing amino, so the next step is an ultrasound which I'll have done Friday of next week. Trying not to worry as I know it's just a possibility, and it's just as likely (or more than likely?) that bub is fine. We are trying not to worry until we have to, but sometimes that's easier said than done. Other bad new... My mum has been battling cancer for the last 2 years, and now we're getting closer to the end. Doctors can't do much more for her other than pain relief. She has a severe urinary tract infection and got admitted to hospital yesterday, and considered refusing antibiotics, with the thought it would be a nicer way to go to die from renal failure in a week or two rather than the long drawn out cancer death. In the end she bought more time- started the antibiotics, and we'll see how it goes. I think she only has a month or two left. When she's comfortable she'll come home (mum and dad live with us) and then closer to the end she wants to go to a hospice centre. So that's where we're at - a lot of stress but we also have a lot of good in our lives. I have an awesome husband who has been so supportive and helpful and great, and a fantastic mischievous daughter who keeps me laughing, busy, distracted and sane!

Still pregnant!

I have an ultrasound booked for tomorrow, so hoping I see a heartbeat. It's terrifying and exciting at the same time. My hubby is optimistic- I wish I had that confidence, but I swing between feeling confident that all is well to being convinced that there will be no heartbeat. The busier I am the better, cos then I don't have time to think about it or analyse how I feel. Oh the waiting!!!

So far so good

I had some betas last week... 18 dpo my level was 1051, and day 20 it had risen to 2345. A doubling time of about 40 hrs. Pretty good! But I still have those nagging thoughts that all is not well. Yesterday I didn't feel pregnant at all. Until the end of the day when I took my bra off and it HURT! Ohhh the big heavy boobies!! I see my doctor again tomorrow and she will order some more blood tests, and talk about when to do an ultrasound (depending on the blood results). It's all so painstakingly SLOW!!

A squinter

Well I can't quite believe it, but I have a BFP!! Faint but it's there. I'm not actually due for 3 more days but have symptoms so couldn't help testing. It doesn't feel real, and in my experience, a pregnancy certainly does not always result in a baby. So I kinda feel a bit numb. Trying not to get excited but don't want to be too negative. The fear hasn't really kicked in yet! So for now... Just taking it one slow day at a time.

I'm a goose

Yessss well, a couple of hours after my last post I got my period. So now I kinda feel like a silly goose... Again! Oh well, shit happens. Now for the good news.... Today I quit my job! I work 4 days a week, and have been since October. And it's just been wayyyy too much. I miss my bub. I'm tired. I need more time to get stuff done! We might struggle financially a bit, especially since we are building a house, but we just have to learn to cut back a bit on luxuries. And I'll pick up a bit of casual and temp work when I need to. So I'm really happy :-)

Another month, another 2ww

I'm at the end of another cycle. Which means its a month since I blogged!! Yep, pretty hopeless at blogging. Anyway.... Last month I didn't get pregnant. So here I am at the end of another 2ww overanalysing every little twinge and possible symptom. Sore boobs, a bad headache yesterday, slight constipation... All symptoms I had when I last got pregnant. And all premenstrual symptoms as well! So far I've restrained myself from buying a pregnancy test. My period is due today, and I'm constantly checking... But nothing yet! I wish I knew one way or the other ( but feel stupid testing and seeing the negative come up). Lord, give me patience!!!!