Sunday, July 8, 2012
Back on the TTC merry-go-round
This morning I saw my doc about TTC #2. I just wanted to check with her if she thought I should go back on metformin, as I was on that when I was trying before. Well, it turned into a full pre conception check, and she's ordering loads of blood tests, advising folic acid, and recommending another mmr shot, and flu vaccine. Aaggghhhh!!!! I so don't want to get back on that TTC merry go round. I wish I could just wake up one day and oops! discover I'm six months preggo with a perfect baby. I wish TTC wasn't so stressful. I wish there was a guarantee.
I am so blessed with my beautiful baby girl. She turns six months old tomorrow. My ob told me if I want a second, to start trying when she is six months. We're here already? I'm 43 now.
I am so fulfilled with just her. I don't need another. But it would be nice, and would be so great for her to have a brother or sister.
Am I tempting fate???? Or being greedy?
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Ramblings of mothers day by a bad blogger
I've hardly been on here lately.
We moved house.... 600km away.
We went on holidays- 3 flights ( 2 were 4 hours, one was just over an hour). Bub did great on the plane and mostly slept until our very last descent which she loudly protested against!
After the holiday we traipsed 600km back, to clean the house and pick up a last trailer load of belongings that didnt quite fit in the truck! We really need to get rid of some stuff.
Now we are just settling in, trying to find a place for everything, and getting to know our new neighborhood.
Mothers day was last Sunday, and I really tried to keep it together, but couldn't and she'd a tear or two a couple of times during the course of the day. I still get overwhelmed that I'm a mother. I find tears appearing when I am happiest- when bubs is giggling, and making the cutest sounds, and has me laughing too, and then I'm in tears. It's kinda embarrassing. But they're happy tears. Sunday was more nostalgic tears, grateful tears, and tears for others who haven't been blessed with their little miracle yet. I went to church, and as the newest mother was invited up the front to accept a rose. The minister(female) knows a little of what we have been through, and alluded to this as she congratulated me on becoming a mother... And SHE got quite emotional and teary, which was a bit catching, which once again is kinda embarrassing in front of a couple of hundred people.
My mum was sick on mothers day, in hospital for a blood transfusion after her last round of chemo. We cancelled a family breakfast. She was really upset with the timing of her being unwell.
For me, mothers day has always been about her. This year it's been strange that it's been about me too.
I used to hate mothers day.
Now I don't know what I think.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Really annoying fb update
Some things make my blood boil, and a particular facebook update my hubby pointed out to me tonight is one of them!
An acquaintance of ours posted how annoyed she is at the cost of obstetric ultrasounds. WHAT???????????
This follows her pregnancy announcement a few weeks ago when she was 5 weeks along. Omg I could just..... Strangle her. I feel like yelling ( or posting back at her which I won't ) DO YOU REALISE HOW F'N LUCKY YOU ARE JUST TO BE PREGNANT SO EASILY???? She only went off the pill a month earlier. I actually saw her a few days after her announcement and held the congratulatory discussion complete with analysis of her little twinges of morning sickness.
It grates me and hubby just a little more that it's this particular couple... They married a week after us. They have a son, the same age as our first child *would* have been.
And now she's complaining about the cost of ultrasounds :-/
An acquaintance of ours posted how annoyed she is at the cost of obstetric ultrasounds. WHAT???????????
This follows her pregnancy announcement a few weeks ago when she was 5 weeks along. Omg I could just..... Strangle her. I feel like yelling ( or posting back at her which I won't ) DO YOU REALISE HOW F'N LUCKY YOU ARE JUST TO BE PREGNANT SO EASILY???? She only went off the pill a month earlier. I actually saw her a few days after her announcement and held the congratulatory discussion complete with analysis of her little twinges of morning sickness.
It grates me and hubby just a little more that it's this particular couple... They married a week after us. They have a son, the same age as our first child *would* have been.
And now she's complaining about the cost of ultrasounds :-/
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
The conception story
I've been thinking a bit lately on how our bub got here.... A year ago I had no idea she would be here with us. How things can change in a year!
But going back to the beginning....I never seemed to have too much difficulty getting pregnant. We got married August 2009, and "tried" for a few months,but nothing happened. My idea of trying then was to be off contraception, and having sex somewhere in the middle of my cycle. I didn't know if I was ovulating or not, and had an old diagnosis of PCOS which I hadn't had investigated very much. I really didn't think we would have kids.
Then in January 2010 (after 4 unsuccessful cycles) I charted for the first time. I had a perfect triphasic chart, with very obvious ovulation on CD 18, and a BFP on CD 30. I was stunned! It looked great. But at our first ultrasound there was no heartbeat and after taking misoprostol it ended.
I had 2 more pregnancies that year, which ended early. I'm pretty impressed that being in my 40s I was managing to get pregnant at all. We were advised to try IVF but I didn't really want to do that, but agreed to clomid in an attempt to ovulate earlier in the cycle. I did that in March last year, but no success. We couldn't do it the following cycle as we were going away on holidays to a remote location, and I didn't want to risk needing medical attention.
So we went on a TTC break, our first for almost 18 months (but kept taking metformin and prenatal vitamins). I stopped charting my cycle, had a few alcoholic drinks, and coffees (after abstaining for the last year) Went on a great holiday where I didn't have time to think about TTC, had fun, relaxed... And yes you guessed it, I came home PREGNANT. I am such a cliche!
AND it was no mean feat since it was an adventure/fund raising bush camping event with 400 other people and we only had a net tent that we shared with a friend. So we did the deed ONCE on the way there, when it rained buckets and we stayed at a friends place and had a bed.... Comfort and privacy! I still can't bring myself to tell my friend that without her kind hospitality, I would probably still be childless! One time, out of the whole 5 week trip. I still am amazed that this has happened, its gotta be some kind of a miracle.
After we were back home, my period was late, so I peed on a stick and literally couldn't believe my eyes at the result! Eight paranoid stress filled months later, after a relatively smooth pregnancy (besides having pelvic separation, and borderline blood pressure issues) and a "fun day" in the delivery ward (in the words of my fav midwife!) our miracle dream girl arrived. That day is for another post....
But going back to the beginning....I never seemed to have too much difficulty getting pregnant. We got married August 2009, and "tried" for a few months,but nothing happened. My idea of trying then was to be off contraception, and having sex somewhere in the middle of my cycle. I didn't know if I was ovulating or not, and had an old diagnosis of PCOS which I hadn't had investigated very much. I really didn't think we would have kids.
Then in January 2010 (after 4 unsuccessful cycles) I charted for the first time. I had a perfect triphasic chart, with very obvious ovulation on CD 18, and a BFP on CD 30. I was stunned! It looked great. But at our first ultrasound there was no heartbeat and after taking misoprostol it ended.
I had 2 more pregnancies that year, which ended early. I'm pretty impressed that being in my 40s I was managing to get pregnant at all. We were advised to try IVF but I didn't really want to do that, but agreed to clomid in an attempt to ovulate earlier in the cycle. I did that in March last year, but no success. We couldn't do it the following cycle as we were going away on holidays to a remote location, and I didn't want to risk needing medical attention.
So we went on a TTC break, our first for almost 18 months (but kept taking metformin and prenatal vitamins). I stopped charting my cycle, had a few alcoholic drinks, and coffees (after abstaining for the last year) Went on a great holiday where I didn't have time to think about TTC, had fun, relaxed... And yes you guessed it, I came home PREGNANT. I am such a cliche!
AND it was no mean feat since it was an adventure/fund raising bush camping event with 400 other people and we only had a net tent that we shared with a friend. So we did the deed ONCE on the way there, when it rained buckets and we stayed at a friends place and had a bed.... Comfort and privacy! I still can't bring myself to tell my friend that without her kind hospitality, I would probably still be childless! One time, out of the whole 5 week trip. I still am amazed that this has happened, its gotta be some kind of a miracle.
After we were back home, my period was late, so I peed on a stick and literally couldn't believe my eyes at the result! Eight paranoid stress filled months later, after a relatively smooth pregnancy (besides having pelvic separation, and borderline blood pressure issues) and a "fun day" in the delivery ward (in the words of my fav midwife!) our miracle dream girl arrived. That day is for another post....
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Immunization day!
This morning bub had her immunisations and I think she was much braver than me! I have this phobia, I think I mentioned before, of reactions after taking medication, so after taking anything I sit there self monitoring for any signs of allergy!
I am all for immunisations. In fact, that is one important area in my (pre baby) work- I work in public health. I see what happens to those who are not immunized, and am grateful for our free immunisation program which some other countries don't have, where babies die from diseases they shouldn't be catching. Part of my job was trying to prevent outbreaks of disease in our region, and I was forever frustrated by people who didn't believe in immunisation. No offense if you don't believe in immunisation, but when you do your 'research' please make sure it comes from a credible source!
So with this in mind, we braved my old workplace, not for a social visit, but for 'business', and the person who is covering my job gave bub her needles. She only cried for a second, and then it was as if nothing happened! That's my brave girl!
I am all for immunisations. In fact, that is one important area in my (pre baby) work- I work in public health. I see what happens to those who are not immunized, and am grateful for our free immunisation program which some other countries don't have, where babies die from diseases they shouldn't be catching. Part of my job was trying to prevent outbreaks of disease in our region, and I was forever frustrated by people who didn't believe in immunisation. No offense if you don't believe in immunisation, but when you do your 'research' please make sure it comes from a credible source!
So with this in mind, we braved my old workplace, not for a social visit, but for 'business', and the person who is covering my job gave bub her needles. She only cried for a second, and then it was as if nothing happened! That's my brave girl!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Picking godparents
We are planning bubs "dedication" which is our churches equivalent of a christening. Basically we have a short segment within the main church service where we acknowledge our beautiful gift from God, and dedicate her back to him, as a child of His, and dedicate ourselves to bringing her up well.
Not everyone chooses godparents but we wanted to. We chose a couple with 9 year old twins. These 2 individuals are amazing people, and have supported us and said all the right things throughout our battle to have a baby. They cried with us when we announced pregnancies (they were among the few friends we told) and cried with us and for us when we lost them.
My hubby asked them yesterday if they would be godparents, and broke down crying when he asked. Then they were crying, and I was crying, and we must have looked a bit silly, all four of us standing there smiling and crying!
So what made them so understanding of our ttc battle??? Well their twin boys are the result of their 13th try at IVF! Yep 13th. What more can I say?!
Not everyone chooses godparents but we wanted to. We chose a couple with 9 year old twins. These 2 individuals are amazing people, and have supported us and said all the right things throughout our battle to have a baby. They cried with us when we announced pregnancies (they were among the few friends we told) and cried with us and for us when we lost them.
My hubby asked them yesterday if they would be godparents, and broke down crying when he asked. Then they were crying, and I was crying, and we must have looked a bit silly, all four of us standing there smiling and crying!
So what made them so understanding of our ttc battle??? Well their twin boys are the result of their 13th try at IVF! Yep 13th. What more can I say?!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A second baby?
It's kinda ironic that after trying to get pregnant from the moment we were married, I am now on birth control.
I keep forgetting to take it at the right time, so have set an alarm on my phone.
Everyone keeps asking me if we are going to have a second baby.
Yeah right, not a problem, I'll just pop another one out in a year or so shall I?
I never know what to say in answer really.
Yes we'd like another, but hey, I turn 43 next month. If you add a few months of "waiting" like my obs told me to ensure a strong caesarian scar, and then fell preggo straight away, I figure I'd be turning 44 when the next one would be due. And that's in a perfect world where I conceive straight away and have no miscarriages.
Is that even possible?????
I love my girl, she is enough, and i don't need another baby to keep me happy. I don't know how I'd even cope with a toddler and a newborn!!!!! (I take my hat off to all the mums out there with more than one child)
But I think she needs and deserves a brother or sister. Someone to hang out with and play with that's more exciting than boring old mum and dad. She has cousins, and will make friends but a brother or sister are there ALL THE TIME.
And of course I would dearly love a second child too if there happened to be one.
I just don't know if I have the mental (and probably physical) strength to deal with getting there.... Monitoring ovulation, 2 week waits, hoping for that BFP and then waiting waiting waiting for each milestone.... A heartbeat, a healthy 12 week scan, a healthy 20 week scan, a live baby at the end.... You know the drill.
So for now I've told hubby we will let nature take its course.... After about June or July I will stop contraception and "see what happens"
I keep forgetting to take it at the right time, so have set an alarm on my phone.
Everyone keeps asking me if we are going to have a second baby.
Yeah right, not a problem, I'll just pop another one out in a year or so shall I?
I never know what to say in answer really.
Yes we'd like another, but hey, I turn 43 next month. If you add a few months of "waiting" like my obs told me to ensure a strong caesarian scar, and then fell preggo straight away, I figure I'd be turning 44 when the next one would be due. And that's in a perfect world where I conceive straight away and have no miscarriages.
Is that even possible?????
I love my girl, she is enough, and i don't need another baby to keep me happy. I don't know how I'd even cope with a toddler and a newborn!!!!! (I take my hat off to all the mums out there with more than one child)
But I think she needs and deserves a brother or sister. Someone to hang out with and play with that's more exciting than boring old mum and dad. She has cousins, and will make friends but a brother or sister are there ALL THE TIME.
And of course I would dearly love a second child too if there happened to be one.
I just don't know if I have the mental (and probably physical) strength to deal with getting there.... Monitoring ovulation, 2 week waits, hoping for that BFP and then waiting waiting waiting for each milestone.... A heartbeat, a healthy 12 week scan, a healthy 20 week scan, a live baby at the end.... You know the drill.
So for now I've told hubby we will let nature take its course.... After about June or July I will stop contraception and "see what happens"
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