Still pregnant!

I have an ultrasound booked for tomorrow, so hoping I see a heartbeat. It's terrifying and exciting at the same time. My hubby is optimistic- I wish I had that confidence, but I swing between feeling confident that all is well to being convinced that there will be no heartbeat. The busier I am the better, cos then I don't have time to think about it or analyse how I feel. Oh the waiting!!!

So far so good

I had some betas last week... 18 dpo my level was 1051, and day 20 it had risen to 2345. A doubling time of about 40 hrs. Pretty good! But I still have those nagging thoughts that all is not well. Yesterday I didn't feel pregnant at all. Until the end of the day when I took my bra off and it HURT! Ohhh the big heavy boobies!! I see my doctor again tomorrow and she will order some more blood tests, and talk about when to do an ultrasound (depending on the blood results). It's all so painstakingly SLOW!!

A squinter

Well I can't quite believe it, but I have a BFP!! Faint but it's there. I'm not actually due for 3 more days but have symptoms so couldn't help testing. It doesn't feel real, and in my experience, a pregnancy certainly does not always result in a baby. So I kinda feel a bit numb. Trying not to get excited but don't want to be too negative. The fear hasn't really kicked in yet! So for now... Just taking it one slow day at a time.

I'm a goose

Yessss well, a couple of hours after my last post I got my period. So now I kinda feel like a silly goose... Again! Oh well, shit happens. Now for the good news.... Today I quit my job! I work 4 days a week, and have been since October. And it's just been wayyyy too much. I miss my bub. I'm tired. I need more time to get stuff done! We might struggle financially a bit, especially since we are building a house, but we just have to learn to cut back a bit on luxuries. And I'll pick up a bit of casual and temp work when I need to. So I'm really happy :-)

Another month, another 2ww

I'm at the end of another cycle. Which means its a month since I blogged!! Yep, pretty hopeless at blogging. Anyway.... Last month I didn't get pregnant. So here I am at the end of another 2ww overanalysing every little twinge and possible symptom. Sore boobs, a bad headache yesterday, slight constipation... All symptoms I had when I last got pregnant. And all premenstrual symptoms as well! So far I've restrained myself from buying a pregnancy test. My period is due today, and I'm constantly checking... But nothing yet! I wish I knew one way or the other ( but feel stupid testing and seeing the negative come up). Lord, give me patience!!!!

A squinter. Maybe?

Well today I an CD 30. And have an average cycle of 33 days. And today I just got too impatient and POAS. Now I wish I didn't! I can't really tell, possibly there's something there, but maybe it's just my eyes playing tricks on me. Surely if it was positive there'd be something to see by now? It brought back all the old feelings of trying for #1, our beautiful girl. So now I don't know what to do.... Pee on another one tomorrow? Or just wait for AF to show up. Probably cheaper to just wait lol!

I think I ovulated

Today... I'm pretty sure I ovulated. I'm not taking temps or doing any formal monitoring, it's just that I'm at day 15... And, well, The signs are there. And we are going to make an attempt (might be too late for this cycle) tonight! I know, I know, I said we weren't going to try anymore. But this train is kinda hard to get off. And it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind.....and ignore the fears ..... and take a leap of faith. I've been reading some preggy blogs lately, and you guys are inspiring me! Wish me luck!!